June 26, 2012 § Leave a comment

Pumpkin vine

In three months I was supposed to have a baby in my arms. Now, I’m no longer pregnant. I only had a short time with my baby. I am empty. I planted pumpkins for him. I was going to take pictures of my newborn next to the pumpkins planted just for him. We were going to dress him up for Halloween as a cute little pumpkin. I had many plans for this child. I am empty.


Rabbit Hole – A couple mourns the loss of a child, their son, in different ways. I watched this movie a few weeks before getting pregnant. I thought it was pretty honest and real even though I’d never experienced a loss like that. Now I know. I hate when I think about something I’ve never experienced and never want to experience and then eventually I experience something similar.

Junebug – Watched the night I had implantation bleeding.

The day I received the call from my doctor about my afp reading a little elevated and that I needed to set up a level 2 ultrasound with a maternal fetal medicine specialist, *Zolton, our talkative neighbor, rambled on about how when Denise was giving birth he asked another guy how it was going with his wife only to be informed that they were giving birth to a dead baby.

Private Practice – Amelia learns she’s carrying a baby whose brain isn’t forming (there’s a name for it that escapes me). Gives birth and has to say goodbye to her dead baby.

Boardwalk Empire – Irish chick loses her baby after her husband beats her. Nucky’s story about his wife holding their dead son in her arms and pretending he was alive. She kills herself.

I feel like we were surrounded by a lot of sad pregnancy stories while I was pregnant. I might add to this as I remember them.

*Yep, that’s our neighbor’s name. Sounds like a character from Star Trek doesn’t it? Or a planet in a far, far away galaxy. His wife says the name is Polish. For a long time we kept confusing it with Zoltron which sounds like a transformer character to me.

Just remembered…

The Big C – Cynthia Nixon’s character has a miscarriage and holds a wake/funeral for the dead fetus.

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